Hightower Lowdown

We've seen some pretty piggish airline passengers in our time—people who insult flight attendants, grunt loudly into cellphones, slop their drinks on others—but never had we heard of an actual pig flying, much less flying first-class.

U.S. Airways reports that two women were allowed to board a six-hour, non-stop flight from Philadelphia to Seattle with their pig. When they made their reservations for first-class, they produced a doctor's note declaring the animal to be a "therapeutic companion pet," like a seeing-eye dog, so permission was granted to bring it along. They also said their little piggie weighed 13 pounds, but someone who watched it arrive at the gate said: "I'd estimate 300."

The flight attendants objected to letting the animal on board, but the airline's legal department cleared the oinker for takeoff. It didn't get its own seat, so it had to lay on the floor at the feet of the two women. There was no report on whether it had drinks or was served a first-class dinner.

A fellow passenger observed: "Frankly, I couldn't tell what kind of therapeutic service it was providing. All I know is, it was ugly and it pooped."

That's not all it did. Upon landing, the big pig panicked and went squealing loudly up and down the aisle. Then it tried to hog its way into the cockpit.

First-class travel just isn't what it used to be. You never know who you'll be sitting next to.