Hightower Lowdown

I don’t know about you, but I’m with George W on this one: It’s time for a surge!

Yes, let’s surge into Iraq with another 20,000 American troops. Put ’em out there in the hot spots, sweating sniper fire, praying that the car that just pulled up doesn’t explode in hellish fury, fretting that anyone (everyone!) could be a suicide bomber.

The only proviso that I attach to my gung-ho endorsement of your exciting surge strategy is this: None of the 20,000 additional troops that you’re committing should come from the ranks of people who’ve already been there, many on their fourth, fifth, and even sixth rotation. Excuse me, but it’s the stuff of tortuous war crimes to keep recycling the same people through that shooting gallery.

Instead, here’s my plan: Draft young Republicans! Yes, they’ve been your most ardent cheerleaders for invading, occupying, and staying the course in Iraq, they’ve been on the front lines jeering and sneering at war protesters, they’ve bravely attached those yellow Support Our Troops magnets to their SUVs, they’ve consistently voted for you and your war. So I say give it to ’em!

It’s nice that your own daughters, Jenna and Barbara, have supported your Iraq policy rhetorically-- but c’mon, why not put their boots on the ground? Give ’em a chance to prove what they’re made of. Those Halliburton executives, too--draft all of their twenty-somethings. And don’t forget Cheney’s young relatives.

Any young Republican who says “Support Our Troops” should become one. Surely, George, you can find a mere 20,000 youthful supporters willing to sign up for your “noble cause.” The least you can do is ask them.