Here they come--America's Drill Team! Out front are the two high-strutting leaders, John McCain and George W, thrusting their drum-major batons and chanting "Drill! Drill! Drill!" Right behind them are the famous Marching Lobbyists of Big Oil, and--look!--prancing alongside are House minority leader John Boehner and the Merry Pranksters of the Republican caucus, doing a precision routine of call and response
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CIRCUT CITY'S "WAGE MANAGEMENT"
Corporations keep inventing newspeak to disguise the
nastiness of their job cuts. Instead of saying
“fired,” the latest fad is for companies to say they
have “eliminated redundancies in the human resources
area.” That makes the fired workers feel much
better.
Circuit City, however, has figured out a
whole new way to eliminate those “redundancies.” The
giant electronics retailer says that it is simply
doing away with the jobs of 3,400 of its
most-experienced, highest-paid hourly workers. Are
they fired? Technically, no. Circuit City says that
those jobs no longer exist, so the jobs were
eliminated, not the employees. But Circuit City says
3,400 new jobs will be created—for doing the exact
same work. Only, at lower pay. Those out of work
salesclerks will be allowed to apply for the new
low-pay jobs.
Wouldn’t that be a demotion? Tut-tut,
corporate America no longer uses such a tacky word,
preferring to substitute the term, “negative
advancement.” In other words, down is up—though it
pays less.
Who’s the genius managing this backwards
initiative? The company’s CEO is Philip Schoonover
and his salary, bonus, and other compensation added
up to $8.5 million last year—right after he’d
presided over a 21 percent drop in his corporation’s
stock price.