Hightower Lowdown

Lily Tomlin says: "I worry that the man who invented Muzak might be thinking of inventing something else."

I thought of her concern when I learned that a Canadian organization has come up with a way to turn an already bad idea into something truly awful. The bad idea is the widespread dousing of lawns with toxic pesticides. These spritzings can contain chemicals that cause cancer, birth defects, and other deadly problems, and it's doubly bad to put these toxics on a yard where children and pets romp and roll around.

Now, here comes the Professional Lawn Care Association of Ontario, with their "innovation"—a fragrance to cover up the noxious smell of the pesticides. The industry refers to this as an "odor counteractant," but local parents call it an abomination.

Not only does this stuff mask the presence of dangerous chemicals, but it could actually attract children into a sprayed yard because the two fragrances used are— get this—bubble gum and cherry! What kid wouldn't want to roll around in that?

Unfortunately, Canada's regulatory agency is about as clueless and toothless as our own. When asked to stop this candy-coating of poison, the agency said it saw no difference between this and adding a lemon scent to bleach.