Dressed up in their designer suits, they trade in human cargo
The new racketeers
Also in this issue
- Zapping the beef supply
- Granny d marches on!
- Postmodern piracy
- Suffer the little children
- Hogs at the trough
- Charity begins in the house
- Bill's beer
Here they come--America's Drill Team! Out front are the two high-strutting leaders, John McCain and George W, thrusting their drum-major batons and chanting "Drill! Drill! Drill!" Right behind them are the famous Marching Lobbyists of Big Oil, and--look!--prancing alongside are House minority leader John Boehner and the Merry Pranksters of the Republican caucus, doing a precision routine of call and response

Charity begins in the house
Won't you help? This is a group of Americans who've not had a pay raise in more than a year. Inflation is eating into their families' standard of living. Many are even having a hard time covering the pay of their Filipino nannies. These are our members of congress, turning to you with their big, sad eyes saying: "COLA." Not Coca-Cola, but "Cost-of-Living-Adjustment."
Speaker Hastert and Democratic leader Richard Gephardt have formed a bipartisan front to okay a $4,600 COLA pay hike for this depressed class, boosting them to a barely adequate $144,300 a year.
Speaker Hastert needs your help now to get this money approved for our hard-hit lawmakers. Call him at 212-225-0600 and tell him what you think about giving a $4,600 COLA to members of congress. Thanks for caring.