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In the 1970s, Lily Tomlin developed an iconic comic character she named Ernestine--a telephone clerk who took perverse pleasure from hectoring customers. Her character was a perfect portrayal of the arrogance of AT&T, the monopolistic telephone giant of that day. In one skit on on the TV show, Laugh-In, Tomlin had Ernestine delivering a TV pitch for the corporation:
"A gracious hello," she cheerfully began, speaking directly into the camera. "Here at the Phone Company, we handle 84 billion calls a year. So, we realize that every so often, you can't get an operator, or for no apparent reason your phone goes out of order, or perhaps you get charged for a call you didn't make. We don't care!"
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CONSERVATIVES CHASTISE BUSH
George W insists that he has supreme power as commander- in-chief to spy on American citizens without following any stinking due process of law. Dick Cheney snarls that anyone who disagrees is a terrorist-coddler. Karl Rove snaps that Democrats who oppose Bush's spy operation are Osama lovers. Alberto "See No Evil" Gonzales told Congress that the president can by-damn make his own rules in wartime.
Wowlike hormoneaddled 14-year-olds, these guys are doing a high strut in hopes of intimidating their political enemies. But wait while the Bushites are looking to their left, look who's coming at them from the right. Bush's assertion of autocratic executive power is hardly a conservative principle, and a growing number of prominent rightwingers are howling that Bush & Gang are desecrating their movement.
"My criteria for judging this stuff is what would a President Hillary do with these same powers," says Paul Weyrich, the influential head of a right-wing think tank. And here's Repubguru Grover Norquist, who hates big government: "There is no excuse for violating the rule of law…Not to [get warrants before spying] appears to be an expression of contempt," he says.
David Keene, head of the American Conservative Union, is even more blunt: "Their argument is extremely dangerous in the long term, because it can be used to justify all kinds of things that I'm sure [neither] the president nor the attorney general has thought about. The American system was set up on the assumption that you can't rely on the good will of people with power."
Bruce Fein, a top legal official with Ronald Reagan, chimes in, "Bush's defenders are embracing the most liberal and utopian view of human nature with their 'trust me' argument. A view that would cause the Founding Fathers to weep." On this one, mark me down as siding with the conservatives.