Hightower Lowdown

Reality can be hard on theorists—just ask that gaggle of neoconservative geniuses who pushed George W's invasion of Iraq.

The beautiful theory invented by Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, and Bush's other Big-Thinker war hawks (none of whom have ever actually been in a war) was that crushing Saddam Hussein would instantly cause a pro-American democracy to flower.You might recall they told us that grateful Iraqis would shower U.S. troops with rose petals and kisses, Halliburton would quickly rebuild the country's infrastructure, a pure capitalist economy would be imposed, and our troops would be home by summer, having turned over power to a secular government, largely handpicked by Bushites.

Of course, the reality is that our troops remain mired there, showered with bombs and bullets rather than love. The economy is just as disastrous, and far from becoming a Mideast bastion of American empire, Iraq has become an incubator for anti- American terrorists.

But the greatest embarrassment for neocon theorists is that the recent elections in Iraq produced the exact opposite of what they assumed. The plan was for secular Iraqi politicians long allied with the CIA to be in charge, giving us an Arab ally that would side with the U.S. on everything from oil prices to Israeli policy.

But—oops—the candidates of the neocons got skunked! A religious slate handpicked by Iraq's top Shiite Muslim leader won the election. The new rulers have longstanding and very close ties not to us, but to that Islamic republic right next door in Iran...the very country that the neocons want to attack next.