Here they come--America's Drill Team! Out front are the two high-strutting leaders, John McCain and George W, thrusting their drum-major batons and chanting "Drill! Drill! Drill!" Right behind them are the famous Marching Lobbyists of Big Oil, and--look!--prancing alongside are House minority leader John Boehner and the Merry Pranksters of the Republican caucus, doing a precision routine of call and response
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SPORTS "BRANDALISM"
If you think it's a great idea to hoist over our stadiums such lovable names as Office Depot Center, Bank Of America Stadium, and Enron Field (oops!), how about branding the teams themselves? The first victim is the major league soccer team formerly known as the MetroStars. The Austrian corporation that produces Red Bull, the energy drink and cocktail mixer, recently bought this New York City team. So—shazam!—the MetroStars are now the New York Red Bulls, and the players trot out for each match in jerseys bearing the corporate logo. As the team president gamely says, "We are part of the Red Bull family."
Next: the Wal-Mart Warriors, the Yahoo! Yankees, or the Exxon Mobil Cowboys?