Hightower Lowdown

Did you see that picture of George W riding around in circles in a decked-out red-white-and blue dune buggy down on the Mexican border? Apparently, he was trying to look like a tough-guy border defender protecting us from illegal immigrants. Instead, he looked like something out of "The Flintstones."

It was perfect symbolism, though, for the Republican leadership has been running around in circles on the immigration issue, trying to juggle their right-wing, lock-'em-out, anti-immigrant absolutism and their big-business backers who profit from the cheap labor of destitute Latino immigrants. On the one hand, these clowns want to militarize the Mexican border (by, among other things, erecting a monstrous, three-tiered fence to keep Mexicans out), but on the other hand, they want a bracero-style program to keep the cheap labor flowing into our country.

Then, just when you thought their political posturing couldn't get any goofier than putting Bush in a dune buggy, they passed a resolution declaring that English is the "national language" of the USA. Wow -- that'll show those immigrants! Not since the House decreed that french fries should be renamed "freedom fries" has our Congress demonstrated such ludicrous loopiness.

Their "speak English" bill is a hoot, for it requires more thorough testing to prove English language proficiency. This from the mumble-mouth president who routinely says things like "Rarely is the question asked -- is our children learning?"