Hightower Lowdown

Have you ever received one of those packets in the mail screaming in 800-point type: "Joe Schmoe, you may have already won a million dollars!"

These sweepstakes mailings are so infamous that the U.S. Senate recently passed the Deceptive Mail Prevention and Enforcement Act, which requires them to make honest disclaimers, like "Your chances of winning are less than the chance that a flying saucer carrying Elvis will land in your back yard tonight."

Amy Gajda wrote in the New York Times recently about receiving a "Priority Express— Priority Service" packet that seemed to contain important and very official documents. It wasn't sent by Ed McMahon . . . but by Bill Clinton! Indeed, the "priority service" box on the envelope had been initialed by "BC" himself. Ripping it open, she found a survey booklet and "a note tucked inside [which] said the answers would be shared directly with the President because he'd asked the DNC to 'reach out' to people like us." The package had everything but the declaration "Amy Gajda of Champaign, Illinois, you may have already influenced White House policy!"

Of course, the DNC's note also urged her to enclose an "urgent" contribution to the party. Just put the check in the same envelope as your completed high level policy survey.

Yes, Amy, you and I've got about as much chance of influencing White House policy as we do of seeing Elvis in that flying saucer.