LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND CRANKY

Cowboy hat By Jim Hightower - Mon., 5/1/00

Here some kids Sally Struthers can really get teary-eyed about: little Jeffery, Lisa, and Alexa. Their problem? They're rich.

Not just rich, but Silicon Valley rich-with gigantic homes, nannies and gardeners, private schools and private jets, and even their own portfolios to manage. The New York Times reports that Jeffrey, Lisa, Alexa, and other children of the Silicon Valley super-rich suffer from S.W.S.- "Sudden Wealth Syndrome." Since these kids have never known anything but privilege, they have an unhealthy, skewed view of reality. These youngsters think going to Hawaii only once a year for vacation is the bottom rung of poverty.

The good news is that help is available to S.W.S. sufferers. Newsletters, websites, and 12-step pro- grams can be found to help these families cope with the psychic burden of being rich. Merrill Lynch even offers a "financial parenting" program that includes guidance on how to give suffering children a sense of perspective about their privileged life.

What's a parent to do when asked: "Daddy, why are we flying a private plane?" Merrill Lynch instructs that the proper response is: "We've had a little luck, but we've worked hard for it"

The ol' we-deserve-it response! Now that's really teaching values to the rich little nippers.