Hightower Lowdown

Big news, folks! I have inside information that George W’s war in Iraq will end sometime next year-- and it will end in victory for the U. S.

My information comes from a single paragraph tucked deep inside the Pentagon’s voluminous 2007 spending bill. It authorizes Bush to designate “a day of celebration” for the “commemoration of success” by our troops in Iraq. The bill also appropriates $20 million “to observe that day with appropriate ceremonies and activities.”

So there you have it-- the Bushites do have an exit strategy, after all! According to this legislation, they’ll declare victory, bring the troops home, and throw a $20-million party. Not a bad plan. Unfortunately, there are some hickeys on this new plan.

Start with the fact that it’s already been tried by George himself, who declared “Mission Accomplished” back in May of 2003. Since then, however, more than 2,800 Americans have been killed in Iraq, and the disaster is intensifying--record numbers of our soldiers and innocent Iraqi civilians are now being killed as Bush’s little “democracy project” devolves into theocracy and civil war.

Meanwhile, clueless George keeps having sugarplum visions of fairy-tale success in his war, obstinately insisting (like the captain of the Titanic) that we must “stay the course.” Even though 61% of Americans and 71% of Iraqis want our troops out of that country, George has blissfully squeezed all reality from his mind, declaring “I will not withdraw even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me.”

Hmm. I’ll bet that Bush’s dog can sense the difference between being strong and being stupid.