Hightower Lowdown

Sorry to interrupt the Obama celebration even before the man gets settled into the Oval Office, but--what the hell is he thinking!?!

About Afghanistan, I mean. Why begin the most exciting, most important administration in decades with yet another misguided military mission that promises to be a sinkhole for our troops, our treasury, our country's good name, and the world's hopes for this historic presidency? Yet, the Obama camp indicates that it is revving up for a troop surge in Afghanistan, claiming that this chaotic country is the central front in the global war against Islamic terrorists.

Some of the new president's top security advisors insist that this is "a war of necessity," the "good war" that George W abruptly abandoned in 2003 when he diverted our military into his misadventure in Iraq. Here's the logic: As Obama kept pointing out in the presidential campaign, Iraq had no connection to al Qaeda's 9/11 attacks on America, but Afghanistan did, at least in a supportive role. While neither Osama bin Laden nor his jihadist plotters were Afghans (nearly all were Saudis), they were sequestered in safe-haven hideouts in Afghan mountains. These terrorist forces posed the gravest threat to our national security back then, say Obama's hawkish advisors, and they still do today, so let's go get 'em and secure the territory!

But, wait--are we going to let Obama hawks rush us into what New York Times columnist Bob Herbert bluntly calls "a fool's errand?" It most certainly would be a horrific war...and for what? What, exactly, is our national interest, our objective, our plan, our "victory," our exit point? [ read more ]

Here they come--America's Drill Team! Out front are the two high-strutting leaders, John McCain and George W, thrusting their drum-major batons and chanting "Drill! Drill! Drill!" Right behind them are the famous Marching Lobbyists of Big Oil, and--look!--prancing alongside are House minority leader John Boehner and the Merry Pranksters of the Republican caucus, doing a precision routine of call and response:

"Alaska's wildlife refuge!" shouts Boehner. "Drill it!" barks the caucus.

"America's seacoasts!" hollers Boehner. "Drill 'em!" booms the caucus.

"The White House lawn!" shrieks Boehner. "That, too!" cries the caucus.

And the lobbyists break out in a synchronized grin.

[ read more ]

Harry Truman said, "No man should be allowed to be president who doesn't understand hogs." That's never been more true than it will be for the man or woman who walks into the White House on January 20, 2009.

If you've ever entered an enclosed, industrialized hog facility where hundreds of fattening porcines live out their short lives, you know that the smell of pig excrement completely redefines "stink." This stench will knock you to your knees, sear your lungs and brain, and make you scream for mercy. For nearly eight years, the White House has been a confined hog pen for corporate porkers, right-wing ideologues, imperialists, autocrats, and other swinish mess-makers. America's next president must not only set a new direction but will also have to clean up the mess and eradicate the stink left by the Bushites.

To help presidential contenders, congressional candidates and the rest of us get perspective on the odiferous legacy of the Bush-Cheney regime, the Lowdown is presenting a two-part factual accounting of the administration's achievements since 2001. This issue will feature Bush's domestic performance, and the May issue will highlight his international agenda. Hold your nose--and get out your scrubbers. [ read more ]